skygaze

Today my boss came over to my seat after knock-off hours and had a causal chat with me and my colleague. He suddenly asked me, "What career plans do you have for the next few years? Have you thought of doing something different?" That came as a complete surprise to me, because from the past year and a half that i have worked under him, I have known him as a pretty serious and stern boss, whom seldom engage in casual chats with us. Not to mention about showing concern about my future plans. 

Probably a brief background on my current job, my job discipline is different from what I learned in school. In short, I shouldnt be where I am now, and I am at most applying 5% of what I was taught to my job. They hired me at that time because they thought my background would be beneficial to the company and myself in certain aspects, and as for the rest of the knowledge I lack for this job, I can slowly pick up as I move along. In other words, OJT. 

I paused for like 5 secs before answering him. During the pause, many thoughts ran through my mind: What made him asked this question out of the blue? Did he received plans from the higher management to transfer me to the other department where I should belong? What if I tell him I dont like it here? Would I disappoint him if I say I would prefer to do something related to what I learnt? Or does he feel that I am not contributing well to this department, and probably it will be good to transfer me out?

Sensing the awkward silence, he said "You never thought about it before?" It was then I decided to come clean with him, and explained that my preference ultimately is to move back to my discipline in the next few years. 

Well, I wouldnt say that I have wasted my time with my current job, in fact I have picked up alot of knowledge with regards to general engineering, and it has prepared me well for the move should it happens.

Hmm.  

Today is such an unhappy day that I need to vent it off somewhere, hence I am writing this entry.

Probably I should just quit from my company's DB team. We have been trying our very best, doing all we can to reduce the cost per person for our trainings, yet he is not appreciating what we have achieved. He is never happy. All he does is to pick faults on us. It is obvious that he is simply unhappy with this sport and trying to set up all sorts of obstacles for us. Why should I continue to put up with all these nonsense when i am helping out to manage the team for free?

*

The month of March have been pretty eventful. I visited Bangkok for the very first time, it wasnt entirely a holiday trip, it was a business trip in fact. I extended my stay a little to roam around, so it was a business + a little R & R trip. The best thing about the entire trip is of course the paid air fare and free 5* hotel stay. I also dropped by Ayutthaya, the old capital of Thailand for some sight seeing. Overall its a little rushing and I have not visited all the places that I wanted, but I enjoyed the trip thoroughly! I have yet to take stock on the amount of shopping I did over at BKK. It might be a little too scary for me to calculate the full expenses. Of course I will be back to BKK, hopefully soon! 

I have taken a shit load of photos, I will try to upload them when I am free. Or rather I should say when I am not lazy. 

Ok I mentioned that I will write about my finger, so here it goes. 

I had a very deep cut on my finger during NS which was about 6 years ago (nope my finger wasnt on the verge to drop off yet), so that landed me in hospital with I think about 7 stitches if i didnt remember wrongly. Unfortunately the careless nurse did not remove the stitches completely, which I wasnt aware of it (more of it later). So after a year or so, a lump grew over the stitched-up mark, which puzzled me. I consulted 2 doctors whom both gave different diagnosis. They prescribed me with those acid to apply over it, hoping it can kill the bacteria or whatever that's causing the small lump to grow. So it was only till late last year I decided something must be really done to get rid of that unsightly lump which is a little painful when you pressed on it. I got a referral and the senior consultant gave some chim diagnosis which I forgot the moment I stepped out of the room. They advised that the only solution to remove it is to cut it. I agreeded to the minor surgery with a very unwilling ok. 

So my finger went through a second round of cutting and stitching. Half way through the cutting, the doctor asked if I had an operation on the same spot before. I was like 'Yes?! Anything wrong?' He then showed me two pieces of blue threads, each about 0.5cm, to which they concluded my lump grew because of allergic reaction to foreign objects inside my finger. I was given 5 stitches to it and was told to avoid heavy lifting and water, i.e. I have to stop gym, swim, and rowing. I expected it anyways and I thought the break from rowing in particular came at the right time when for unexplained reasons, I felt really sick of rowing all of a sudden early this year and wanted to quit rowing from the two teams all together. Its the usual ups and downs I guess. Allrights, back to the finger. Before I left the theatre, the doctor told me to remind the nurse that there are 5 stitches on me on the day for removal. Perhaps I am destined to have bad luck with stitches, the nurse failed to remove all of it again this time round. I wouldnt blame her entirely, cos the dried blood covered one of it and I did not managed to spot it also. At least this time the stitch is sticking out from my skin. So for the third time, my finger was cut again to release part of the stitches which my skin healed over. At least this time, he used a small little blade. 

Well... I am glad the unsightly is gone, although there's a bigger scar on my finger now, and a little red... hmm. It feels great to resume gym and rowing again. 

*

Surprisingly, this year CNY top question raised by my concerned (nosey) relatives, whom we meet up only once a year which is CNY, turned out not to be the "Do you have a gf now" or "where is your gf". They were more interested to find out what my height. The thing is I have stopped growing since like 8 years ago. I was itching to reply them they have grown shorter over the years, and not the other way. There were still a couple of them asking me about if I have a gf, to which I replied them with a smile "oh i am currently in the selection stage". I thought its a good answer to shut their mouth and avoid any awkward situations which usually arises if I replied them with "cannot find", etc. I tried it a few times, and we both laugh it off.

*

I am unable to pinpoint the exact reasons why I am feeling more motivated with work since the beginning of this year, I am not complaining though. I still remember I was struggling with deciding if I should quit my job last year, but I am really glad things have improved. Probably because I am getting the hang of the job now, and generally happier with what I am doing now. Anyways, I was selected to attend a business trip for 4 days in bangkok which got me a little excited. Firstly this will be my very first time visiting bangkok, yes I am that suaku, and secondly, I guess my boss is willing to give me this opportunity. I extended my stay, which I will be exploring around abit. I have been digging out kevinxx past entries on his bangkok trip, just to get a little more info. I am flying off tomorrow morning. Hope it will be fun.

 Its been a real busy year for me at work since the start of 2008, that I hardly have enough sleep everyday. And I've been bringing work home to do as well - something which I dread. Not that I have such great passion for my work, but the amount of work to clear is at a record high since the first day I joined. Come to think of it, I seemed to be happier these days with my current job. I still remember I was feeling sore over the fact that I did not had the chance to move over to the other department when someone quitted over there. The desire to move over is still there, just that I am finding more good reasons to stay on with my current department. One of it is my current boss. He is as good as a walking encyclopedia. Even if he doesn't have the information at his head, he has his ways to find them. I had an opportunity to work closely with him last week and he taught me alot. It is then I realised how important it is to have a good boss, or helpful colleagues to guide and provide assistance especially for a newbie.

All I am looking forward now is the weekend for a break. I still have a half written entry on my 2007 reflections - yeah, its a little late; and not forgetting my finger story which I have not started writing. Hopefully I can find time to complete them.

I went to the gym after work today, and over the counter to pay for my entrance fees:

Me: Can I go to the gym please.
Counter Girl: (Stares at me for a while).. For adult?
Me: Yes!?

She couldn't have mistaken me as a senior citizen right? So I will take it that she was wondering if I am a student.

I am turning 27 this year FYI, if anyone here isn't aware of this alarming figure.

Should I pop a champagne tonight?

*

There was some event going on at my workplace and it was held in a room just along the corridor from my office. There were plently of food left, so my colleagues and I were asked over to help ourselves to the food. So we went over, and it happened that this other colleague, hmm, lets call him married gay man (MGM), was also in the event room. Upon seeing me, MGM had his eyes glued tightly on me. I did saw those eyes. And so there I was trying to avoid his gaze and pretend to be all busy looking at the spread of food on the table. Before I realised it, MGM was standing next to me, and placed his freaking right palm on my abs tummy, with the other palm on my lower back, carressing and said, "Look at you, no tummy at all! You need to eat more! Come come.. help yourself to the food!". 

Do I call that near molest?

If not for the fact that we worked for the same company and in the same building, and I still have some work collaborations with MGM, I would have give him the disgusted look. But I gave a weak smile and walked away to the food. And mind you all these rubbing were done in the pressence of other colleagues. This is the second time he laid his hands on me.

This MGM has a few nicks among the people in my workplace which I heard from the lunch gossips - sissy, lao ah gua are some of them. I am not that bothered really, as long as he doesn't cross the line and tries anything funny. I'll take it that he is just being friendly, like how those aunties and uncles in my company that treats me like their son (do not think in that direction please).

Obviously this incident doesnt call for another round of champagne popping. 

Allright... here's the ending to my luncheon meat story:


Miss Z was sick and took MC, so she didn't turn up on that day! "Heng ah!"... no la... I didnt knew how to speak Hokkien then, but that was how I felt. Phew.

Of course, that sandwhich became my food for recess, and I had to be discreet, hiding one corner in the canteen with Dennis (Ok... I made this part up cos I cant remember where and how I ate it) in case anyone asks about its content. 

But I did rememeber going back home, a little grumpy, asking her why she didn't inform/ warn me when I asked her to prepare the luncheon sandwhich. And her replied was

Mum: You didn't tell me your English teacher is Muslim what!
Me: ...

Like as if I knew about this fact!  

 The other day at the Yong Tau Foo stall:

Me: Kuay teow noodle, without the lady finger please.
Colleague: Eh why you dont want the lady finger?
Me: I dont like to eat it la.
Canteen girl: Aiya, because he dont like girls mah.
Me: ...
Colleague: (Trying to hide laugh)

I did noticed that the canteen girl loves to flirt around with guys, making small talks especially to young ones. She must have suspected me as one since the day I didnt responded to her flirts.

*

The recent shortage of luncheon meat in the market reminds me of this luncheon meat + egg + tomato sauce + 2 slices of bread sandwhich I've been eating since I was a small kid - sometimes for breakfast, supper and occasionally for lunch/ dinner when the parents are lazy to cook. Sometimes tomato sauce is replaced by mayonnaise. How sinful is that. Not exactly sure who invented this combi... should be mum. Come to think of it, luncheon meat does taste pretty good - salty, crispy on the edges when cooked over oil.. it must be the flavourings added to it. Hmm, its been quite a while since I last ate it. But seriously, one should not consume luncheon meat on a regular basis, I think its made from lousy meat remainders squashed, dumped and sealed into a can. 

And this piece of luncheon meat brings back memories of one embarrassing incident when I was in primary 2. Thats like 19 years ago, and its still reasonably vivid in my head, clear enough to share it here.

We had this Muslim English teacher Miss Z, she's young, pretty looking with those big waves long black hair, and very tall (probably cos we were short). Her lessons just seemed to be more interesting compared to other teachers, she teaches us songs, tell us stories, play games, and bring us to the school library for videos. There's just alot of class participation, and that's what small kids like. All the pupils seemed to like her alot, including me. And I think she likes me too. I remember whenever there is spelling tests, she will mark them on the spot, with us lining up to her table. She chop these smiley faces on our spelling exercise book if we did well, and I am the few privileged ones that was allowed to chop them myself. I never seemed to do a good job, with only like half the face appearing. So she eventually use her hand to push down mine to ensure the full face appears.

So there is this day, she decides to conduct a sandwhich making lesson. The class seemed to be excited as usual... probably because there is food. She joined several tables together to the front, the pupils gathered around her, with some standing on top of chairs, trying to get a good view of her spreading various stuffs in all sorts of combinations into the bread. She cut them into small triangles (Yes... I still remember they were triangular shape!) for us to try. I remember getting this horrible tasting one, with I think kaya + some weird tasting jam. Thank god its only a very small piece.

So at the end of the class, she announced that since we have learnt how to make sandwhiches, we have to make one and bring to class tomorrow for her to try! How fun is that. And you guessed it! I asked mum to help me prepare the luncheon meat sandwhich, this time a simpler version, just the meat + bread, without the egg. Mum didn't asked further details about who's my teacher.

And so the next day I brought my disastrous sandwhich to school. I had this 'best friend' then whom I always hang out with, his name is Dennis, who sits just beside me in class asked

Dennis: Did you remember to make the sandwhich? 
Me: Got!  
Dennis: Let me see!
Me: Here... (peel open the sandwhich)
Dennis: EH! Muslims cannot eat pork!!
Me: Is it? I didn't know about it! How come my mum didnt tell me!

I remembered I was damn scared that day, as I don't have a sandwhich to present to Miss Z. Seeing my classmates all discussing about their sandwhiches just makes it worse. So what you guys think happened in the end?

Merry Xmas everyone! Opps.. a little late. So here's wishing everyone a Happy New Year first!

And these are my recent buys... Not xmas pressies unfortunately.
Thought there is 30% discount for the adidas shorts, turn out only for other products, and not this pair of shorts! But still, I like it la. 
 

And I'm not done with shopping yet! I'm still lacking of t-shirts to wear to work. Recommendations anyone for nice t-shirts?

 

This morning's Master Series held at Bedok Reservoir, the first major dragonboat event after the unfortunate incident in Cambodia, was an emotional one. A simple commemorative service was held before the actual race, in memory of the 5 singaporeans who lost their lives doing what they loved most. Everyone gathered near the floating pontoon and observed a minute of silence. I could hear snifflings around me towards the end of the silence. This was followed by paddling clockwise around the reservoir, with the National Team leading five other boats in one line. On the way of returning, the six boats moved into the respective lanes and charge to the finishing line. After they ended their round of rowing, the boats turned back to the pontoon, and flower rings were placed over the dragon heads. There were also drum beats and splashing of water by the six boats, which symbolise good luck if I didn't remember wrongly. I believe the five of them also witnessed the commemorative service, but from the sky. 

Hope the National Team will stay strong and continue the passion for their lost team mates.

Successful people believe in themselves and their dreams, and persevere. They dwell on positive thoughts, and attract the truth they believe. If you are determined, you find a way to make it happen because you believe that you can. If you believe that you cannot, you will not. There is always a way. It may be difficult, it may be different than you had originally planned, you may have to adapt to the unfamiliar, but if you are focused and think positively, you can achieve your goals. 


Do you believe/ agree whatever is written above? 

I believe it.

Just when I thought my tears had run dry, I cried again reading yesterday's papers. Its really time to bring all these to a closure, but that does not mean that the 5 of them will be forgotten. They left their family, friends and many people out there with beautiful memories, inspirations, as well as valuable lessons. You guys did Singapore proud.

Rest in peace. 

Whenever I read about young people passed away suddenly due to road accidents, sports events, etc on newspapers, I would get upset and usually able to get over it by the day at most. The recent accident in Camobodia however, had a great impact on me. Probably because I'm a rower myself, and this time, it involved 5 of my countrymen. I do not know any of them personally, but looking through the photographs over at straitstimes online felt extremely painful. Today's papers especially, with all their happy faces before the trip. I was unable to hold back my tears. The passion they have for the sport, the bright future ahead of them - all these have to come to an abrupt end. What about their families and friends? I begin to question myself again, is everything predetermined?

The freak accident once again reminded myself to treasure my family and friends and not take them for granted, and also to live everyday to the fullest. I hope their families, teammates and friends will stay strong and overcome the loss of their loved ones. You guys did us proud and will always be remembered.

New song alert!
Not sure if this is the MV of this song or someone edited the movie scenes to it.



最長的電影
作詞：周杰倫　作曲：周杰倫　編曲：鍾興民

我們的開始　是很長的電影　放映了三年　我票都還留著
冰上的芭蕾　腦海中還在旋轉　望著妳　慢慢忘記妳

朦朧的時間　我們溜了多遠　冰刀劃的圈　圈起了誰改變
如果再重來　會不會稍嫌狼狽　愛是不是不開口才珍貴

再給我兩分鐘　讓我把記憶結成冰
別融化了眼淚　妳妝都花了要我怎麼記得
記得妳要我忘了吧　記得妳叫我忘了吧
妳說妳會哭　不是因為在乎

Fortunately S was around to accompany me yesterday to gym and I felt much better after a work out. I cant imagine how bad my entire weekend would be if I had stayed at home, with those thoughts all over my mind.

A post-race discussion with one of my team-mates over msn has helped to sort out some of my thoughts about the team and stuffs. Yes, I've decided that I will stay on. Moreover, there are also certain reasons which made it well, I can say near impossible for me to leave the team, unless... sigh. Shall not elaborate on them. But one thing for sure, I will not be that active as before.

Allrights, enough of these not so pleasant stuffs. Allow me to introduce one of my all time favs below! I like everything about this song! The mv, the lyrics, to her style. Very carefree, and very relaxing, particularly the starting music and the unique ending. I think it suits my current mood perfectly!

I must have the words "I am very disappointed" plastered all over my face just now. They were like coming over telling me dont look so sad, dont be like this, etc. Indeed, I am disappointed. But you have sort of expected that we wouldnt go far, judging on who's rowing today, didn't you? It must be due to the little luck that I was foolishly hoping would befall on us. 

For a moment I wanted so much to throw in the towel and join some other team, something which isnt what I would typically do. The team has been running with problems in attendance, committment, etc, and these are the reasons that resulted in our poor performance in some of the past races. Its killing my motivation to go on with it.

As I was on my bus ride back home, I thought it through and felt it would be an inappropriate thing to do, that is to leave the team at this stage when they needed rowers the most. Moreover, it is here where I picked up my basics, began my interest in rowing, and also some other things that came along with it. Should I tell myself again, "to believe in yourself, and to believe that your team can make it", like what our coach always remind us?

Probably I should just take a break from the team for the time being. I am tired.

 

Today at work I discovered another mistake. Very fortunately, it was dicovered in the nick of time. If it is discovered only tomorrow, real damage ($$$) will be done. Phew. The mistake was made a few months ago, when I was still in the so-called "bo chap" state. I mean at that time I was in a rather down period of my life, questioning myself if I had chosen a wrong job, etc. Well, I believe this stage of confusion is over, or at least I have managed to successfully cast these "bad" thoughts into cold palace for the moment. In school, a mistake made would at most cause you to score a lower mark. Things are alot more serious if a mistake is made, and I should bear this in mind. In a way, I am glad that this mistake came. It had waken up all my senses, and once again reminded myself to be even more careful and detailed with my work.  


*

The number of pimples I have on my face at any point of time has a direct proportional relationship to my stress level. And its very well proven since my schooling days. I get pimples when the exam period approaches, or when assignments, projects deadlines starts crashing down all together. Pimples are making their appearances these days.... sigh. But I have been religiously soaping my face everyday without fail! So my complexion will be a good indication of my current state of life. Whats worse is that close friends have commented that they could read my mood from my facial expression. Is it a good thing to be read like a book? Looking at the bright side, I can save the trouble to verbally inform the other party that I am bored with his/ her conversation if whoever starts yakking non-stop! haa!

I need help!!

I have not been receiving email notifications when someone commented in my blog, or replied to my comments in their blogs! What happened sia?? 

I have tried disabling it, and enabling the function, but its still not working! 

Anyone experiencing the same issue here? Or have any solutions to my problem?? I depend on them to monitor comments!

Thanks in advance!

Been spending my weekends at home these days, something which I've been looking forward to from my busy schedule for the past months. Just when I am supposed to be enjoying the quiet moments with myself, I was reminded of how lonely I felt, and thoughts start to run wild. Its very scary. Think I am better off be busy running everywhere and drop dead on bed once I reach home.

A little bored so did a survey just for the fun of it. Usually I dont believe in these surveys but this one seemed to describe me pretty well.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Everyone have their fair share of suay days and I guess yesterday was my turn. I was using this machine to pay my bills, relectantly touching the screen to key in my account number and amount, and insert in my atm card. Right at this moment, the lights around me went off, including the machine I was using. There I was, standing in front of a black screen, with my card stuck in the machine. Called the help line number on the machine, and the staff said help will be on the way to retrieve my card, and they should be able to reach my location within an hour's time. Sigh... Well, looking at it positively, at the very least I have not keyed in my PIN, otherwise I wouldnt know if the transaction went through. And they did arrive here within an hour. 55 minutes to be exact. I am seriously wondering if my act of inserting the card triggered the power trip. 

***

Just two weekends ago, our team participated in the 5 crew DB challenge held at Jurong lake. One of our teams managed to fight their way to the finals, coming in to second place! This is the first ever medal our team won in our short history, and well, my very first medal in my entire life too! My colleague was so delighted for us that she teared when we went up to collect our medals. Although our team is only slightly more than a year old, we were in some sort of pressure to win something due to certain reasons. During the 2-day race, we had to make some harsh decisions in team allocations, replacing weaker rowers with stronger ones, putting some into reserves, etc. Our primary aim was to place the stronger ones into one team with the hope to win something back, while at the same time minimise any unhappiness among the rowers. Its really tough to strike a balance between results and feelings! I know its inevitable in every team sport, and I have tried my best explaining things to the team. I really hope everyone understands where we are coming from, and we cant work alone. I'm very glad we have done our organisation and coaches proud. Seeing the smiles on them gave me a big sense of achievement.